AA Agnostica

aaagnostica.org · American English

A space for AA agnostics, atheists and freethinkers worldwide.

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Last post: Apr 5, 2026
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The Very Last Post on AA Agnostica – More Than 14 1/2 Years Old!
Apr 5, 2026 · original
By Roger C. This is the last article to be published on AA Agnostica. The website will remain online and accessible to all – we have now had five million viewers! – but there will be no new articles. I launched the website in June of 2012. Why did I do that? Well, at that time I was a member of an AA group in Toronto, Ontario launched by Joe C., the author of Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life . That group was booted out of AA. Why did that happen? Well, because the group used a completely secular version of the 12 Steps. And after roughly six years Joe’s group was relisted as a member of AA by the AA General Service Office, responsible for AA in both the United States and Canada. AA Agnostica has been an active and popular website ever since it was launched way back then. And another question. Since I lived in Hamilton and it took me an hour and a half to get to Joe’s meet
A History of Agnostics in AA
Mar 29, 2026 · original
This article was originally posted on AA Agnostica on April 13th, 2017 By Robin R. A History of Agnostics in AA is a timely book that should be read by all AA members, nonbelievers and believers. It accurately portrays the experience and the history of agnostics within the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. The book begins with a rather “conventional” AAer insisting that the only path to sobriety for a true alcoholic is the first 164 pages of the Big Book, the God infused 12 Steps and Conference-approved Literature. This summarizes the firmly held opinion of a significant majority of members and the problem faced by many newcomers to AA. The book is divided into three main segments. The first deals with Our History , the second with Problems in AA , and the final with how our secular AA is Moving Forward . Our History The author, Roger C, the manager of this website, has presented a chr
When Thinking Becomes Resistance
Mar 22, 2026 · original
By Bradley A. Stop filtering advice and start listening When I first encountered Step Three – “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over…” – I assumed it didn’t apply to me. I had no belief in any sort of god or supernatural being, and I had no intention of developing one. So I translated the step into something that made sense: listen to the people and resources I trust. That sounded simple. It was not. For four years I believed I was already doing that. I listened in meetings. I nodded. I even took notes and highlighted passages in my AA ebooks. I could repeat insights back and tell you what they meant – not just superficially, but with depth. If recovery were a written exam, I would have passed with honors. But I wasn’t changing. I knew the words, but I was not taking the actions. Eventually someone close to me said something that stopped me cold: “You haven’t completed Step
They Built Me
Mar 15, 2026 · original
By Mary M. I’m coming up on 40 years of sobriety in a few months. Every day of which I can never take for granted. I was broken in every conceivable way when I arrived through the doors the old fashioned way. A call to the AA office in Toronto. Sober a whole day and knowing, with horror, that I couldn’t possibly last another day. I had resisted the term “alcoholic” for years. Became enraged with my now ex, who had discussed my “condition” with our family doctor. I told the ex, in no uncertain terms I was “far too intelligent” to be an alcoholic. And fired the family doctor. Like any good alcoholic. (And a PS: Within 6 months of coming through the doors, a crusty old timer told me I would do myself a big favour if I parked my intelligence along with my car before walking into an AA meeting.) I dragged so much baggage into AA as to be, in my mind, insurmountable. I was unemployable, having
Learning to Live Again
Mar 8, 2026 · original
Recovery after survival By Bradley A. When I stopped drinking, I assumed the hardest part was over. It wasn’t. Sobriety did not automatically produce a meaningful life. In fact, it removed the anesthetic that had allowed me to function despite depression, anxiety, and unresolved pain. Without alcohol, everything felt sharper – not clearer, just more intense. The loneliness amplified. I wasn’t learning how to stay sober. I was learning how to live in a world I didn’t feel prepared for. The Shock of Ordinary Life For decades alcohol had been my social lubricant, emotional regulator, and escape hatch. Without it, I faced situations that felt overwhelming: conversations, responsibilities, loneliness, decision-making. Even basic tasks carried emotional weight. Paying bills. Opening bank accounts. Setting up utilities and internet. Buying dishes, linens, furniture, groceries – all the ordinary
John Mahaffy
Mar 1, 2026 · original
The picture above is of John Mahaffy with his wife Dianne Piaskoski. A long time friend of mine, John Mahaffy, born on March 12th 1953, died at the age of 72 on January 22nd 2026. John wrote seven articles that were posted on AA Agnostica. The last one, Why Tell Our Story? , was published last year on July 6th 2025. His first article on AA Agnostica was published 15 years ago, on July 27th, 2011. Here it is: Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power Marya Hornbacher is one enthusiastic and grateful recovering alcoholic. She is also an atheist. If you have been waiting for a recovery book to come along that speaks to the “non-God” in you, then perhaps your patience will be rewarded with the recent publication of Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power . When at times you’re feeling a little heretical and you put down the Big Book wishing it had been written somewhat differently, Hornbacher’s te
Surrender Without God
Feb 22, 2026 · original
Steps Three Through Five in a Secular Life By Bradley A. When I first entered recovery, I thought that I understood Step 3 just fine. The traditional wording asks us to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. As an atheist, I simply redacted god and gave myself over to the Fellowship, my doctors, and my friends and family. However, I felt like I was lacking direction – what was this help actually for? After some time, I unredacted god, and inserted Life in its place — the force that sustains breathing, consciousness, and existence. Gravity exists whether I believe in it or not. So too, life exists whether I believe in it or not. That understanding allowed me to finally integrate Steps One through Three in a way that felt philosophically honest. But years into sobriety, I learned that understanding Step Three philosophically is not the same as practicing
Is Alcoholism a Mental Disease?
Feb 15, 2026 · original
By Andy F “Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering” Carl Gustav Jung What is a mental illness? Before we tackle the question of whether or not alcoholism qualifies as a mental illness, it may be helpful to explore what a mental illness is. Let’s see how artificial intelligence defines the term ‘mental illness.’ The Core Definition “A mental health concern becomes a mental illness when it meets two main criteria: * Persistent Symptoms: It isn’t just a bad day or a temporary reaction to a sad event (like grief); the symptoms last for weeks or months. * Functional Impairment: It interferes with your ability to work, maintain relationships, or take care of yourself.” Gemini AI Would AA members agree with these criteria? If AA members were presented with the above criteria and invited to give honest feedback about their drinking, they would offer conflicting opinions. Some wo
The Path That Breathes
Feb 8, 2026 · original
A secular reflection on higher power, spirit, and recovery By Bradley A. For most of my life, I believed I could solve any problem. I was a planner, an explainer, a rationalizer. If something was broken, I would analyze it, reframe it, push harder, or talk my way around it. I believed competence meant control. I believed insight meant mastery. I believed effort alone should be enough. Alcohol fit neatly into that belief system. I drank for forty years without ever truly considering stopping. Sometimes I cut back. Sometimes I justified. Sometimes I lived in places where alcohol wasn’t readily available, and I managed just fine – until it returned. When it did, I followed it like a bloodhound. I didn’t stop drinking because I wanted spiritual growth. I stopped because I reached a moment where living or not living became the only real choice left. In a hospital room, stripped of illusion, I
The Transformation of My Alcoholic Craving
Feb 1, 2026 · original
My Sick and Twisted Alcoholic Mind By Josh P. “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends” The Beatles, With A Little Help From My Friends I entered recovery over two years ago when I was semi-forced into a treatment facility: 10/10/23. The beginning of the end of my alcoholic insanity. I remember one night the group activity was watercolor painting; sort of like toddlers in preschool. Exactly , like toddlers in preschool, actually. My new buddy sat to my right, and we were sharing a cup of water to clean our paintbrushes. Just having fun and jesting about how goofy it was that there we sat: two mid-twenty-year-old adult males, painting inside the lines of the template we’d chosen. Little did I know I was but a toddler in an adult’s body. I actually went on to take up painting as a hobby from this experience. But that strays from the topic of this post: I remarked to this new friend, wh
AA, the courts, and religion
Jan 25, 2026 · original
By Andy F. An eye-opening encounter Anyone who is familiar with my blogs will know that they are all about my experiences as an agnostic alcoholic in AA. Whenever I publish an article on my website, I also share it across various AA Facebook groups I belong to. Some people appreciate them, others don’t. That’s okay; if you put content in the public domain, you have to be prepared to get criticism, both good and bad. Recently, however, I had an encounter with a member of an AA Facebook group. It raised some issues and questions that deserve further consideration. On reading my blog on some AA-related topic concerning my agnosticism, I was accosted by a woman who could only be described as a religious fundamentalist. I was told that I was doing AA considerable harm by publishing any material about AA that gave people the impression that alcoholics could get sober without God. It didn’t mak
Recovery as Intentional Change
Jan 18, 2026 · original
By Darcy B. A practical framework for change Over time, I’ve simplified my understanding of recovery to two essentials: abstinence and change. Abstinence is easy to define. It simply means not using. Change is less straightforward and can take many forms, depending on the framework you adopt. In Alcoholics Anonymous, steps four through twelve are intended to provide a structured path for change. They can be effective, provided one accepts the underlying premise that lasting recovery depends on a power beyond the individual. While the language speaks explicitly of God or a higher power, the core idea is that the source of change lies outside oneself. I take a different view. I believe the capacity for recovery resides within each of us. The work is not to place that responsibility elsewhere, but to find it, strengthen it, and deliberately shape the internal changes that make long-term rec
Freethinkers Article
Jan 11, 2026 · original
By Jabu K. Though at the time I was drinking myself to death every day, I can still remember vividly that the month was September. As usual, I had woken up in the morning to go to my favourite shebeen (A drinking house). After a few hours of drinking, unlike other days, I could sense that alcohol was not doing what it normally does to me after a few drinks. No effect at all. I felt sober as though this booze was just coursing through my body and not doing its usual job. This was strange. I decided to leave my drinking buddies and go home. This was also unusual because I never left a drinking hole until I was well plastered. Anyway, when I got home, which was just across the road, I had a very deep conversation with myself. For the first time in my boozing life, I was brutally honest with myself with the answers I came up with. After that soul-searching, which had lasted around 30 minutes
Crossing the Threshold: Recovery as a Modern Rite of Passage
Jan 4, 2026 · original
By Patrick L. Pellett In the language of anthropology, recovery is not an invention. It is a remembering. Long before there were Twelve Steps or meeting halls, human communities practiced a pattern that repeats across cultures and centuries: separation, transition, and return. These three stages, first outlined by Arnold van Gennep in The Rites of Passage (1909) and later developed by Victor Turner, describe how societies mark profound personal change. The process begins with leaving one way of life, moves through a period of uncertainty and testing, and ends with reentry into the group as someone transformed. This pattern is the deep grammar of human change. And it is the same structure heard in every recovery story that begins with “What it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now.” Separation: The Breaking Away Every recovery story begins with a leaving. The addict separates no

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