Alovelywoman

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Memoir and Writing about Mother Loss & Childhood Grief by Carmel Breathnach

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Focusing on Hope for Children’s Grief Awareness Month
Nov 20, 2025 · original
I’ve written and shared about Dougy Center here and in previous blogs , and please if you’re not familiar, take a look at their website . They are an amazing organization that provides healing and support to grieving children, teens and families right here in Portland. Support them if you can! This year’s Focus On Hope event, organized by Dougy Center, in time for Children’s Grief Awareness Month was beautiful. Cheryl Strayed was an inspiring and warm guest speaker. We all enjoyed a delicious lunch, tea and coffee and poignant stories of grief and love. Families who have lived through profound grief and have received support at the Dougy Center, shared their experiences. Young adults spoke of the connections they have made. I met some volunteers, a therapist in training and a couple of friends and we all openly discussed what brought us there. My husband took a few hours off work to atte
Reflections on Motherloss and Childhood Grief
Jun 27, 2025 · original
Playtime was always my favorite time when I was a child growing up in Ireland. I spent hours having fun with various friends and cousins, mainly in the midlands and in rural Connemara. As soon as I’d come home from one friend’s house, I’d ask permission to go to another’s, or they would run across the street to play at mine. I also enjoyed playing alone, always able to occupy myself. Imaginative, creative and agile I was never at a loss for something to do, and I enjoyed my own company, as my dad would say. I climbed trees, swung on our swing, ran wild through the rugged fields surrounding our home, fed carrots and Digestive biscuits to our three bunny rabbits, created daisy chains to wear in my hair, “mothered” my dolls, read books and enjoyed many hours of art projects. I bicycled, hula-hooped, roller-skated, swam at Silverstrand beach and went on fun outings with my family. My childho
Ice Skating – a memory
Apr 25, 2025 · original
My mother died when I was 11 and it was only in adulthood, about five years ago actually, that I came across the term “ Anticipatory Grief ” and recognized it from my own experience. Mother’s Day here in the US is approaching fast. I’ve written many posts about Mother’s Day, for those of us whose mother died when we were little , for those who may appreciate suggestions or words of comfort as the day approaches and so much more. I plan on posting to my Instagram page as the “holiday” approaches, and on my Facebook page , where many from the grief community hang out and I’m occasionally posting on Substack as well. For now, here’s a personal memory, an insight into a time when my mother was quite ill. All I wanted was for her to know me as I explored new developing skills, hear me as I shared my joy with her and see me as I grew into the young girl I was becoming without her continued lov
Terminal Illness and the Children Who Are Left Behind
Mar 21, 2025 · original
Every parent with a terminal illness diagnosis will anxiously consider what will happen to their children following their death. They’ll wonder if the child is going to be okay , who will be in their life to guide and care for them. They’ll focus on the special occasions such as birthdays, graduations and weddings that they are not going to be around for, while feeling despair at missing the everyday moments too. They’ll wonder what the child will remember about them. I know my mother wondered these things, not because she told me, but because we are human and our families and loved ones mean everything to us, especially when time is running out and people are forced to face these incredibly difficult situations. I’ve received messages from parents with terminal diagnosis down through the years as a result of my writing, specifically this blog which has reached people all over the globe
My Mother’s Death Anniversary
Mar 2, 2025 · original
March 2, 1988. Mam. Kathleen. Mam was a kind, talented, wise and warm human being, loved by so many. A dedicated mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend, she looked out for others, made us laugh and cooked the most wholesome, delicious meals while singing along to her records or a tune on the radio. She gave me a good start on life, choosing my dad to be her partner and mothering me so tenderly for as long as she could. She loved being a mother. I’ve never met anyone like her, and I’m quite certain I won’t, although I appreciate the warm, nurturing ways of kind Irish women who lived in the era of my mother, their concern for others in the community and their funny expressions. Mam was genuinely content and she expressed her happiness and gratitude often. Rarely did she complain. She was a really good soul and the world was better with her in it. 37 years later, she’s still missed. Fore
A LOVELY WOMAN Has Her Book Debut
Feb 3, 2025 · original
But it’s not a book written by me! Not yet. Last year when I googled my name, as I sometimes do, to keep an eye on what’s showing up in the algorithms I spotted a reference to my blog in what appeared to be a book on grief. Both anxious and excited about this unexpected and random discovery (given the discouraging AI developments in the writing world) I followed a dozen links until I found the book in question. Within a few minutes I was even able to listen to the pages where my work was referenced, and on a surprisingly positive note the narrator pronounced my name (in full) correctly. The book I’m referencing is How Children Grieve : What Adults Miss, and What They Can Do to Help by Corinne Masur , Psy.D, published by Alcove Press and assessed as being “extraordinarily helpful for parents, teachers, counselors” by one online reviewer. I’m not going to write much about the book here as
Anticipatory Grief, and Beauty in a Normal Day
Nov 15, 2024 · original
Before I had the words for it, and long before I began processing everything I’d been through in childhood I experienced years of anticipatory grief. Many of us are familiar with the term now, but when I was a young girl it would have simply been referred to as ‘worry’. And yes, I was certainly worried, but the term is helpful because it’s validating and offers a deeper explanation of the state a person is in before an impending loss. Anticipatory grief can be experienced by anyone who is anticipating the death of a loved one and it’s a very normal response. According to Allison Werner-Lin , Ph.D. “It’s the experience of knowing that a change is coming, and starting to experience bereavement in the face of that.” My mother was ill for several years and my family understood that her diagnosis was life-threatening. During these unpredictable years I remember feeling sad, anxious, angry and
Another Mother’s Day
May 9, 2024 · original
Yesterday was Ovarian Cancer Day and this weekend in the US Mother’s Day arrives in its full and ever vibrant glory. Our inboxes have been flooded with Mother’s Day gift ideas for weeks now, lists of what to do for your mom and a million other celebratory to-dos for the maternal figure in your life. But, just a gentle reminder: many of us are not celebrating. By all means, kind and loving mothers should indeed be celebrated, but for me, and many others, it’s an occasion we prefer to ignore. My mother is no longer living and sure, I can still offer gratitude of course; send thanks into the universe for the life she gave me and the nurturing she lavished upon us, and I will. I’ll whisper a few words to her throughout the day and tell her I wish she hadn’t died. But I’d prefer not be bombarded with so many reminders of who and what I’m missing. My mother didn’t care much for the “holiday” a
Grief Awareness Day 2023
Aug 30, 2023 · original
National Grief Awareness Day (August 30 th ) aims to normalize grief and recognize the different ways in which individuals cope with loss while offering resources and support to those who are grieving. Those of us who had a parent die in childhood can attest to the relentless, long-term nature of grief. It has been 35 years since my mother died. A lifetime. It feels like forever since I had a moment with her and yet the impact of this and other major losses in my younger, formative years still reverberates in my life. I missed out on a maternal line. My father’s mother died the year after Mam died, and my mother’s mother passed when I was only two years old. There’s so much I want to ask these women. And so many things I’d love to share with them. Today, as an adult who teaches, writes and focuses on artistic and creative endeavors, I sit with my feelings and allow their expression. Some
Ovarian Cancer Awareness Day
May 12, 2023 · original
May 8th, 2023 was Ovarian Cancer Awareness Day. Had I not been home in Ireland packing to return to the USA, I would have posted on the day. Angelina Jolie shared on social media about her mother’s death following years of struggle with ovarian and breast cancer. Barack Obama’s mom died age 52 from the disease, as have so many other women around the world, including my brave & loving mother who died at age 50. Too many women have died from this disease. I was 5 when Mam was diagnosed and 11 when she died . I knew for several years that the cancer was related to her ovaries and having babies, though I didn’t fully understand any of it at the time. As a result I’ve lived with some suspicion, fears & uncertainty related to my ovaries. These organs resulted in my mother’s death after all, at least from a little girl’s perspective. So, when Tami Kent , local author and founder of Holistic Pel

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