Portrait of the Man as a...

angrybunnyman.bearblog.dev · English

Why I write because thinking silently turns corrosive...

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Last post: Sep 20, 2026
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The Group Therapy coffee at the End of the Universe
Sep 20, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Intergalactic Cockroach Post Nutrition Label Content Type: Text Read Time: 10 min Topics: Extinction, Schopenhauer, Fermi Paradox Where the fuck is everyone else? Enrico Fermi, probably The answer, the Schopenhauer pessimist in me says, is they've all self-destructed at some key technological age in history. Don't learn to run. No persistence running, no antelope chased to collapse in the heat: no big brain civilization. No penicillin. No germ theory: we all die of hyper syphilis. Don't properly understand atomic fission. Unrestrained nuclear proliferation: we nuke ourselves like an oblivious hot pocket. Every rung on the ladder is a filter and it looks like the next rung is building a mind. The Will just strives, a hungry thing that builds and eats and builds and fucks, with no point to any of it. Constraint to those basal drives creates depressed monkeys that either don't
Oh yeah, I stopped using this iOS Shortcut because it was a right pain to troubleshoot
Sep 7, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Apple Fanatic Post Nutrition Label Content Type: Text Read Time: 5 min Topics: Productivity, Shortcuts Where morning routines go to die Over the course of years, I built out a morning routine through the iOS Shortcuts app. It helped me manage tasks, track some personal goals, and time block my calendar every day in a way that integrated with the time logging tools at work. When this thing would break, typically around new iOS releases, it was an absolute pain to troubleshoot. This is when I started coding my own app (see DumbTask link in the nav bar) because I just kept getting so annoyed. Oh but that time thing After about a quarter of using the apps which are just... so nice, I realized I had been logging my time at work far less discretely. I could tell my boss where my time had been going specifically because I didn't know . I'm lucky enough that this isn't an actual pr
Elbow tattoos still fucking hurt but the pain doesn't make them meaningful
Sep 5, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Pain Bag Post Nutrition Label Content Type: Text & Photos Read Time: 5 min Topics: Tattoos, Pain, Accessibility Earlier this week I got my newest tattoos colored in . Let me tell you, All Reading Eye, it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Seeing stars. Time dilation. Jumping feet-first into an event horizon and repeatedly wondering "how did I end up here, at this exact place, being stabbed by this many needles this many times for this long." There was no Dana. Only Zuul. YET — I am Quite Pleased with the results. Quick refresher: each band, starting at my wrist, marks a major life event roughly in chronological order. The sleeve, when finished, will be a tattoo life timeline. Tattoos, in order, with very brief descriptions Worth noting: the bear paw dead center was my first tattoo, inked well before I'd conceived of the sleeve at all. One more continuity pr
twenty-five: ending Blaugust with some collage art and a point about the absurdity of rending fidelity as the only real art. And also a very gay bull.
Sep 1, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Glue Sniffer Post Nutrition Label Content Type: Photos and Words Read Time: 10 min Topics: Art, Growing up, Making I tried sketching in public this month. And it was agonizing , that exposure and vulnerability of making something "bad" where someone could see me doing it. I kept returning to the same question: why am I doing this? Somewhere in the last few years I found analog collage scissors-and-glue, the physical act of cutting something apart so it can mean something else. And I do think I'm good at it. The photography has been good for years. These are not a diverted route to a destination called Real Art. They are the arrivals. But they don't feel like arrivals because there's this unspoken hierarchy baked so deep into the culture that I absorbed it before I had language for it. At the top sits photorealism. The ability to reproduce the visible world with enough fidel
twenty-four: reminding myself that I'm not a bad artist, I'm learning something new
Aug 30, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Papermancer Post Nutrition Label Content Type: Photos Read Time: 5 min Topics: making things, learning I have ideas and vision but do better remixing to hit my vision I've been a collage artist(?) as long as I can remember - so much so that I actually kept my collage book from my childhood when very, very few things actually survived otherwise. I should dig it up and take pictures... My point is that I can do visual art, I just use existing objects recombined to express something within me. That part of me still considers this "not real art" because it isn't hand drawn is infuriating. a selection of collage Everything is a remix. A B M
twenty-three: I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know
Aug 29, 2026 · original
the thing about the art I love most is that it looks messy but messy without a base ability to actually make art just ends to with trash. I don't knowI don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't knowI don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. stop looking at it I don't know what I'm doing. I don't knowI don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm dowhat I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't knowI don't know what I'm doing. I hate this so much I don't know what I'm doing. I don't knowI don't know what I'm doing. I don't know wwhat I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know wdon't know what I'm doing. I can't do this I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know wdon't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I
twenty-three: statistics from a few years of writing in plain text
Aug 27, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Mathemagician Just a short look at some numbers. The benefit of using plain text or markdown for all of my writing and being able to import old formats into text, I have some stats on my writing over the years. I would have guessed productivity would have been a bigger portion but I'm not mad that I actually just... write about my life and inner workings most. Oh dang... I have thousands of old LiveJournal entries I can convert and put into my archive too.... Oh dear. I should get the total word count from when I started in 2003. A B M
twenty-two: an extremely abbreviated visual history of my relationship with thinking on paper
Aug 26, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Pulp Jockey Post Nutrition Label Content Type: Text Read Time: 5 min Topics: Simplification, Capitalism I used to think on paper. I used to bullet journal. I used to focus on the experience rather than on the results of writing - tasks, projects, presentations, diagrams... work product. I don't exactly remember why I stopped but it was almost certainly something akin to "but I'll never out this anywhere or do anything with it" and a flavor of "my life is too complicated to do everything on paper." We become the complexity we seek to justify ourselves. It's a harsh symptom of capitalism engendered in 20somethings with something to prove 1 . Do all the things 2 . Be more efficient; be more effective. Get that core. Grind those bags. I just don't think I need to do that anymore. It is certainly a matter of privilege that, after 22 years at my job, I am fully autonomous and sel
status 082426
Aug 24, 2026 · original
I continue to be fascinated at the reduction in food noise associated with this new drug and that I'm under 100kg for the first time in recent memory
twenty-one: why am I drawing in public?
Aug 24, 2026 · original
Portrait of a Artist-in-waiting Ok so I think I'm going to keep poking at this. But after about 90 minutes, this is where I'm at, I guess? Why am I posting this in public. It's so bad (you know the thing I've only just started to try and learn). Ugh this sucks. A B M

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