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Writing and Stuff from Isaac Z. Schlueter

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The 5-Point Request
Aug 27, 2026 · original
I originally wrote this as part of the npm, Inc. handbook, a set of documents defining how we ran the company. I often want to refer to it, but it apparently exists nowhere else online, so I'm publishing it here. It probably should've been called "The 5-Point Plan", but idk, for some reason "request" stuck. There are 5 elements to a project or request. Without these 5 elements, the chance of successfully meeting the request is much lower. 1. Criteria (Positive Definition of Success) # The first point of the request is to define, in positive terms if possible, how we'll know if the request has been met. Driving towards "how will we know?" can uncover discrepancies in our understanding of the goal, and clarify the intent for those doing the work. 2. Owner # The owner may not be the one doing every part of making the request happen, but they are the one who takes responsibility for making s
Steak Recipe
Jun 27, 2026 · original
This is my recipe for steak. Enjoy. Time # A few days of prep where the steak sits in the fridge. Then a few hours where it sits on the counter. Then like 5-10 minutes of actual cooking. Ingredients # A very thick extremely marbled ribeye. This technique can be adapted to other highly-marbled/medium-toughness cuts of meat, such as certain porkchops, but if it's not very marbled (like filet mignon), high-toughness (like flank steak or chuck) then it will be a Bad Time. The thing to look for is lots of small veins of fat throughout the meat, not a small number of big blobs of fat in individual places. Lots of salt (big chonk kosh salt is good, but smol gran table salt also works) Butter. (If you wanna be fancy, you can use some herbed butter, or chop up mushrooms and make a mushroom butter, or caramelize some onions into a butter-onion spread and use that. But plain old butter is extremely
I am not my Autism. Am I? Well drat...
Jan 28, 2026 · original
From r/AutisticAdults , my reply got too long and reddit's server kept not wanting to let me post it, so I'm writing it here. Wrestling with some thoughts, and wanting to hear some opinions. I put a banana inside myself this morning, nothing dirty, I just ate it. The reason I phrased it weirdly is that I realized I've been making a mistake in my thought process involving that banana and many other things. I assumed, falsely, that my skin encompasses all that I consider to be me, and that vice versa everything within my skin can be considered me. But that banana is clearly not me, yet it exists within my skin. I don't talk like a banana, I don't walk like a banana, and a lot of that banana will leave me shortly. So now I realize that there are things inside me that aren't me. So I've done a bit of stripping, nothing dirty, I just tried to remove everything that isn't me from my idea of wh
Conflict Between Neurotypes
Nov 24, 2025 · original
Part of a series on the Occult Grammar of Communication Part 1: What is Occult Grammar? Part 2: Allistic Communication Part 3: Autistic Communication Part 4: Conflict Between Neurotypes The Double Empathy Problem describes the way that two people of different neurotypes are likely to misunderstand one another. It highlights the observable truth that autistic people do not, in fact, "lack empathy", but rather they lack empathy for allistic people they cannot understand , and that allistic people exhibit the same lack of empathy for autistic people. Studies have shown that this breakdown is in fact not typically due to autistic cognitive shortcomings, but rather a lack of reciprocity that all humans exhibit towards those who are unlike them. The critical difference, and the reason why it appears to allistic people that autists have a social deficit, is that autists are simply a minority. V
Autistic Communication
Nov 17, 2025 · original
Part of a series on the Occult Grammar of Communication Part 1: What is Occult Grammar? Part 2: Allistic Communication Part 3: Autistic Communication Part 4: Conflict Between Neurotypes In Part 1 , I discussed the nature of occult grammars, and how they invisibly affect communication both in composition and interpretation of communication acts, as well as determining which things count as communication acts. In Part 2 , I discussed four fundamental rules of allistic occult grammar, approaching the subject based on observation as an outsider to allistic communication, who nevertheless must live within a predominantly allistic society. In this part, I will attempt to do the same for autistic occult grammar. Please accept my apology for the following tedious disclaimers. Tedious Disclaimers # As someone who is autistic, I am perhaps least able to identify the grammar that is implicit and hi
Allistic Communication
Nov 11, 2025 · original
Part of a series on the Occult Grammar of Communication Part 1: What is Occult Grammar? Part 2: Allistic Communication Part 3: Autistic Communication Part 4: Conflict Between Neurotypes As discussed in part 1 , an "Occult Grammar" is a set of rules that govern the language game , yet which remain hidden to participants in that communication. Thus, occult grammar isn't a set of rules that need enforcement; each person just feels them implicitly. They are the hidden implicit natural laws that make the language game what it is. Allistic vs Autistic Communication # As an autistic person, it often feels like communication between allistic people relies on a set of rules that everyone seems to Just Know, but no one can explain or articulate, let alone justify. Nonetheless, our language acts are interpreted according to this grammar, often resulting in miscommunication that is frustrating for a
What Is Occult Grammar?
Nov 4, 2025 · original
Part of a series on the Occult Grammar of Communication Part 1: What is Occult Grammar? Part 2: Allistic Communication Part 3: Autistic Communication Part 4: Conflict Between Neurotypes All communication, in order to be communication, is governed by rules that determine the ways in which utterances (that is, any and all speech acts and their constituent parts, whether verbal or non-verbal) are assembled by the speaker and listener into meaning . These rules define the implicature carried by a given speech act, as well as its "literal" meaning. In this series, I use the term "grammar" to mean those rules that speakers and listeners use to formulate and interpret speech acts, body language, actions, and all other "moves" in the language game , in ways that may be to varying degrees overt or occult to those participating in the communication. Using this framework, I will discuss various way
The Church of Gravitationism
Oct 5, 2025 · original
And so to start with... # As the meaningless universe expands from the hot beginning of all things towards the cold infinite nothing, there are Four Aspects of the Mind of God, and Four Divine Forces spring forth from them. The Four Aspects are: Charge, Length, Time, and Mass. The Four Forces are: Strong, Weak, Electromagnetism, and Gravity. It is this last that Gravitationists worship, Our Lady Gravity . She is the most ineffable, yet most visible at our scale. At macro scales much larger than ours, She rules unopposed. She is simultaneously strong and gentle, yet nevertheless as ruthless as any God could be, uncaring towards petty human concerns, capable of bending space and time to Her divinely ordered whim, or casually crushing us beneath the rocks of misfortune. The other three forces are stronger, in absolute terms. But Strong and Weak are not inverse square laws, and they operate
Autism Spectrum Pride Flag
Oct 3, 2025 · original
This is an autism spectrum pride flag that I designed and am offering to the community for anyone to use in any way they desire. If you use it somewhere online, credit and/or a link back to this post would be lovely, if that makes sense, but is not required. That is, it's released under a CC0 license . I'm getting it tattooed on my shoulder in a few weeks. I've made the image available as an SVG, in HTML and CSS, as well as in PNG formats for the original 2x1 ratio, 19x6, 3x2, 4x1, square, and golden ratio. The font on the ∞ symbol is Old Standard Regular . spectrum-pride.svg spectrum-pride.png spectrum-pride-16x9.png spectrum-pride-3x2.png spectrum-pride-4x1.png spectrum-pride-golden.png spectrum-pride-square.png spectrum-pride.html OldStandard-Regular.otf LICENSE.html Why Yet Another Autism Pride Flag? # Yes, there are some other autism/neuroqueer pride flags. They're fine, and if you
Remembering Mikeal Rogers
Jun 11, 2025 · original
Mikeal Rogers died on the morning of Monday, 2025-06-09, after enduring 7 months of treatment for aggressive colorectal cancer. I'm so inescapably sad. Last year, Mikeal set up a git repository and had asked people to share memories, ways in which they've been impacted positively. This is what I wrote . Just Everything Over The Last 15 Years # Fuck. Where even to begin. I suppose I'll begin at the beginning, at least the beginning of us. I went to a server-side JavaScript meetup in 2009, when Node was just a newcomer in the SSJS space, one of many upstart projects. I was giving a talk on JSGI, and how it might be a standard that server-side JavaScript platforms could coalesce around. But really, I was already of the opinion that Node was really The Thing. Some guy I'd never met heckled me, saying we should skip all that JSGI portability noise and just work on Node exclusively. He wasn't
Regarding Autism Self Diagnosis
Dec 20, 2024 · original
How to get an autism diagnosis 1 Be me. Get misdiagnosed as ADHD at age 10. Get prescribed Ritalin, lose all semblance of sleep order and circadian rhythm. Revolt and stop taking the drugs at age 14. Learn about autism at age 27. "Wait, isn't that just like, normal, though?" Learn that everyone isn't normal like me. Most people are different! Study autism for 10 years. Become somewhat convinced that it might apply. Would explain the multitude of sensory issues, social/emotional difficulties, overwhelm, burnout, meltdowns. Discuss with therapist, he agrees. Continue studying for 5 more years. Still not 100% sure, but seems likely. Learn that hEDS and autism are highly comorbid, explains the hypermobility, soft stretchy skin, and POTS . Learn that GI and skin issues are highly comorbid with autism, explains the psoriasis and the butt stuff. Almost sure now. Learn that Low Dose Naltrexone c
Leveraging the Suffering Set-Point
Sep 8, 2024 · original
In psychology, "Set Point Theory" is the idea that humans have a given set-point of hedonic pleasure/suffering that we are always drawn to throughout out lives. This results in the concept of a "Hedonic Treadmill" , where no matter how much pleasure we may add to our lives, we will always feel about the same level of happiness. It's hopeless! Or is it? Manipulating the Hedonistat # I imagine it like this: my mind, body, and soul will work together 1 to ensure that I'm always at the same basic "level" of happiness. Put another way, they work together to keep me at the same basic level of suffering . Feelings, of course, are information, which we ignore at our peril! But, some "emotions" can be quite easily found by choosing a given framing, or even (in the case of anxiety or low self-worth) manufactured by the mind completely out of fantasy without any referent at all. When we do not have
Morning Image
Aug 25, 2024 · original
immaculately imperceptibly impossibly softly hairs of forehead silk rest warm on closed satin eyelid sleep breath sweet musk soft warm vapor waves on rough black sand beach cheek sun invades with welcome warmth unwelcome wakefulness resisted, burrowing hands with no expression rest on smooth expanse of flesh ignore the beating heart beneath languorous left-over libido, last night's lust lactic lipids left lovely lounging lingual
the you in me (but iambic pentameter)
Jul 30, 2024 · original
Run my software on your brain and I Will live rent-free inside your mind where we can run together through your every dream Keep that faithful replica, my voice (along with all the others making noise) telling you all day how great you are Let my homunculous run wild in the light of your affection and attention, Creating needs for me to satisfy Let's not control, or own, or colonize. That work is never-ending and unpleasant, And no one thus attained is worth the cost. No grand gestures (anyone can do), Give me little signs that take no effort, and which are impossible to fake Subtle twitch of eyes, your cheeks alight. When we touch, the whispered sharp inhale the smile you can't hide, comes out for me When he looks out your eyes and into mine and sees the copy of you in my mind Let the me inside you fall in love with the you that lives inside of me original
Obsidian
Jul 28, 2024 · original
MARCELINE: At least they'll find our skeletons entwined together! BONNIBEL: I don't have a skeleton, but that's pretty romantic! No exaggeration, this story is a better model of healthy nuanced relationship dynamics than anything I have ever seen in fiction. Certainly better than most kids will ever pick up from the actual adults in their life. I'm so thankful that the franchise got to a point where they could do justice to this romance between a demonic vampire punk and a sentient candy scientist, even though they are both women. 🏳️‍🌈
Honeysuckle
Jul 24, 2024 · original
There was a big honeysuckle bush dividing our backyard from our neighbors in the house in Connecticut where my family lived, from 1985 until my parents finally sold it in 15 years later, a few years into their divorce. It was a long unkempt monster of a bush, growing and spilling over the buried remains of a fence, until it replaced and became the fence, long before our tenure as residents. As it grows, a honeysuckle bush forms a dense haphazard matrix of leaves and thin spiky branches, like a net of sticks, blooming with small yellow and white flowers. Pretty, but not exactly beautiful or remarkable. Underneath its impenetrable carapace, a mature honeysuckle bush discards all but the thickest branches, supporting its outward quest for dominance and sun. Nothing grows in the dark caves of its interior spaces. It's former self continually replaced with supportive emptiness. As a small chi
the you in me
Jul 22, 2024 · original
Run my software on your brain and I'll live rent-free inside your mind where we can run together through your dreams Keep that faithful replica my voice along with all your others telling you all day how great you are Let my homunculous run wild in the light of your attention and I will satisfy the need that he creates Don't give me grand gestures (anyone can do that) I want the little signs that take no effort and which are impossible to fake Subtle twitch of eyes and cheeks when we touch, the whispered sharp inhale the smile you can't hide When he looks out your eyes and into mine and sees the copy of you in my mind Let the me in you fall in love with the you in me iambic pentameter version
CLT, Near Mode, Far Mode, and Autism
Feb 23, 2024 · original
This post is an exploration of a half-baked theory . Consider it as an optional thought technology, which you may choose to employ or not as it proves useful. I have found this to be a worthwhile mental tool in navigating the neurotypical/allistic world as an autistic person. Whether it is "true" or "valid" or has strong predictive power is less important. Content warnings, this post mentions (in the abstract) grief and pet-related tragedy, and links to a few websites that contain a mix of very good and exceptionally terrible ideas. And it is possible that merely being aware of this tool may change your brain and cause you to think in new ways, in case that is something you'd like to avoid. CLT and Modal Thinking # Construal level theory is a model of psychological distance, the mental leaps that we make in order to reason about and experience that which does not affect the self directly
They're not autistic, they're just...
Feb 21, 2024 · original
smart passionate about mud really into math obsessed with bread rude really into trains really into JavaScript really into Pokémon insensitive hypersensitive very focused easily distracted single-minded an idiot a knowitall brutally honest inconsiderate temperamental introverted set in their ways lazy a workaholic not a fan of flourescent lighting bothered by polyester a picky eater a nerd good at remembering movie lines good at remembering lyrics good at remembering names of greek gods good at remembering numbers good at remembering stuff bad at remembering to eat bad at remembering what day it is bad at remembering birthdays bad at remembering stuff bad with names bad with faces bad with big groups bad with people kinda deaf sometimes fidgety twitchy funny humorless easily annoyed oblivious to drama a drama queen annoying (This list is not exhaustive.)
A Labeled Box of Feels
Feb 9, 2024 · original
I am about 80% sure I did not initially come up with this concept. As I remember it, the idea of jealousy in particular being a "feelings box" was something I originally heard at an open relationship discussion group some time around mid-2009. But it's come up 3 times in the last few weeks in various conversations, and I haven't been able to find any sources online other than my own tweets. It's possible that I've explored it enough that it may as well be mine, and so I ought to write it up here. There are a few examples of things we often think of and treat like "feelings" or "emotions" that are in fact not feelings, but a labeled box of feelings. A dramatic example of this is "jealousy". Jealousy is a Feelings Box # To be jealous is not to have one specific identifiable feeling. Unlike "true" emotions, "jealousy" is a combination of many different emotions all jumbled together. We shov

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